former President Ronald Reagan, in an interview with Dr. James Dobson, reported in Focus on the Family magazine, said, "I don't believe you can have a strong, healthy nation without the family unit as its very base. As the family goes, so goes the nation."1
Dr. Nick Stinnett, chairman of the Department of Human Development and the Family at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, agrees. He believes that history clearly illustrates the relationship between the strength of families and the strength of nations.
"As we study some of the ancient cultures such as that of Egypt, Rome and Greece," says Stinnett, "we see a common pattern: When these cultures were coming into the peak of their power and glory as nations, the family was strong. It was important and was valued very highly. Family members cooperated with one another. They depended on each other.
"Then, as these nations progressed along their paths of destiny, the family came to be not so highly valued, the culture became extremely individualistic. It was a 'do your own thing' philosophy to an excessive degree. The families deteriorated. When that happened the societies themselves fell."2
Strong families are committedto making the family work.
The family shapes the nation because it shapes the lives of those who make up the nation. It is within the family that we either gain or fail to gain our sense of belonging, our sexual identity, and our sense of self-worth. The family also teaches us values and how to relate to other people.
When these basic needs for belonging, acceptance, self-worth, and training in wholesome values and relationships are not adequately met, the seeds of juvenile delinquency, alcoholism, drug abuse, impaired relationships, marriage breakdown, divorce, homosexuality, depression and mental illness are sown. And the more of these problems we have, the weaker our nation becomes.
Because as a nation we are so dependent on the strength of our families, we need to do all in our power to develop stronger, healthier homes.
Being concerned with what makes families healthy, Dr. Stinnett led a major international research project to learn the secrets of strong families. His studies included strong black, white, ethnic, and single-parent families in North America, South America, Switzerland, Austria, Germany and South Africa.
His findings were discussed at a national forum held in Washington, D.C., where family specialists and leaders from various sectors of society gathered specifically to determine exactly what it was that made families strong. The content of these discussions is presented in the excellent book edited by Dr. George Rekers and titled, Family Building.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
friends with benifits
One of my dearest female friends is in a relationship with a friend of her own. It’s not an unhealthy relationship, but the man has made it clear to my friend that it has a definite ending as he needs to move away for a job. She understands this, intellectually anyway. But there’s some question as to whether our intellect can overrule our emotion in every instance and in every situation.
I suspect that the more time we spend with another person involved in intimacies, the more intimate we get regardless of our overall intentions. I would even go so far to say that it’s inevitable. That like that old premise in “When Harry Met Sally,” men and women can’t just be friends. Well, I mean that they definitely cannot just be friends if they’re actively engaging in a sexual relationship.
I know my friend knows that, so intellectually, she’s cool. But I also know that matters of the heart can often short-circuit our rationality, leading us to engage in behaviors that, in the long-run, may not be emotionally the most healthy for us.
These thoughts led me to look up the research literature on “friends with benefits,” and I was pleasantly surprised to come away with a few citations where this phenomenon has actually been studied. These kinds of relationship most often occur in younger adults (high school and college-age students) who are still actively exploring their sexuality.
I suspect that the more time we spend with another person involved in intimacies, the more intimate we get regardless of our overall intentions. I would even go so far to say that it’s inevitable. That like that old premise in “When Harry Met Sally,” men and women can’t just be friends. Well, I mean that they definitely cannot just be friends if they’re actively engaging in a sexual relationship.
I know my friend knows that, so intellectually, she’s cool. But I also know that matters of the heart can often short-circuit our rationality, leading us to engage in behaviors that, in the long-run, may not be emotionally the most healthy for us.
These thoughts led me to look up the research literature on “friends with benefits,” and I was pleasantly surprised to come away with a few citations where this phenomenon has actually been studied. These kinds of relationship most often occur in younger adults (high school and college-age students) who are still actively exploring their sexuality.
what is love?
What is love? It is one of the most difficult questions for the mankind. Centuries have passed by, relationships have bloomed and so has love. But no one can give the proper definition of love. To some Love is friendship set on fire for others Maybe love is like luck. You have to go all the way to find it. No matter how you define it or feel it, love is the eternal truth in the history of mankind.
Love is patient, love is kind. It has no envy, nor it boasts itself and it is never proud. It rejoices over the evil and is the truth seeker. Love protects; preserves and hopes for the positive aspect of life. Always stand steadfast in love, not fall into it. It is like the dream of your matter of affection coming true. Love can occur between two or more individuals. It bonds them and connects them in a unified link of trust, intimacy and interdependence. It enhances the relationship and comforts the soul. Love should be experienced and not just felt. The depth of love can not be measured. Look at the relationship between a mother and a child. The mother loves the child unconditionally and it can not be measured at all. A different dimension can be attained between any relationships with the magic of love. Love can be created. You just need to focus on the goodness of the other person. If this can be done easily, then you can also love easily. And remember we all have some positive aspect in us, no matter how bad our deeds maybe. And as God said �Love all�
Depending on context, love can be of different varieties. Romantic love is a deep, intense and unending. It shared on a very intimate and interpersonal and sexual relationship. The term Platonic love, familial love and religious love are also matter of great affection. It is more of desire, preference and feelings. The meaning of love will change with each different relationship and depends more on its concept of depth, versatility, and complexity. But at times the very existence of love is questioned. Some say it is false and meaningless. It says that it never exist, because there has been many instances of hatred and brutality in relationships. The history of our world has witnessed many such events. There has been hatred between brothers, parents and children, sibling rivalry and spouses have failed each other. Friends have betrayed each other; the son has killed his parents for the throne, the count is endless. Even the modern generation is also facing with such dilemmas everyday. But �love� is not responsible for that. It is us, the people, who have forgotten the meaning of love and have undertaken such gruesome apathy.
In the past the study of philosophy and religion has done many speculations on the phenomenon of love. But love has always ruled, in music, poetry, paintings, sculptor and literature. Psychology has also done lot of dissection to the essence of love, just like what biology, anthropology and neuroscience has also done to it.
Psychology portrays love as a cognitive phenomenon with a social cause. It is said to have three components in the book of psychology: Intimacy, Commitment, and Passion. Also, in an ancient proverb love is defined as a high form of tolerance. And this view has been accepted and advocated by both philosophers and scholars. Love also includes compatibility. But it is more of journey to the unknown when the concept of compatibility comes into picture. Maybe the person whom we see in front of us, may be least compatible than the person who is miles away. We might talk to each other and portray that we love each other, but practically we do not end up into any relationship. Also in compatibility, the key is to think about the long term successful relationship, not a short journey. We need to understand each other and must always remember that no body is perfect.
Be together, share your joy and sorrow, understand each other, provide space to each other, but always be there for each others need. And surely love will blossom to strengthen your relationship with your matter of affection.
Love is patient, love is kind. It has no envy, nor it boasts itself and it is never proud. It rejoices over the evil and is the truth seeker. Love protects; preserves and hopes for the positive aspect of life. Always stand steadfast in love, not fall into it. It is like the dream of your matter of affection coming true. Love can occur between two or more individuals. It bonds them and connects them in a unified link of trust, intimacy and interdependence. It enhances the relationship and comforts the soul. Love should be experienced and not just felt. The depth of love can not be measured. Look at the relationship between a mother and a child. The mother loves the child unconditionally and it can not be measured at all. A different dimension can be attained between any relationships with the magic of love. Love can be created. You just need to focus on the goodness of the other person. If this can be done easily, then you can also love easily. And remember we all have some positive aspect in us, no matter how bad our deeds maybe. And as God said �Love all�
Depending on context, love can be of different varieties. Romantic love is a deep, intense and unending. It shared on a very intimate and interpersonal and sexual relationship. The term Platonic love, familial love and religious love are also matter of great affection. It is more of desire, preference and feelings. The meaning of love will change with each different relationship and depends more on its concept of depth, versatility, and complexity. But at times the very existence of love is questioned. Some say it is false and meaningless. It says that it never exist, because there has been many instances of hatred and brutality in relationships. The history of our world has witnessed many such events. There has been hatred between brothers, parents and children, sibling rivalry and spouses have failed each other. Friends have betrayed each other; the son has killed his parents for the throne, the count is endless. Even the modern generation is also facing with such dilemmas everyday. But �love� is not responsible for that. It is us, the people, who have forgotten the meaning of love and have undertaken such gruesome apathy.
In the past the study of philosophy and religion has done many speculations on the phenomenon of love. But love has always ruled, in music, poetry, paintings, sculptor and literature. Psychology has also done lot of dissection to the essence of love, just like what biology, anthropology and neuroscience has also done to it.
Psychology portrays love as a cognitive phenomenon with a social cause. It is said to have three components in the book of psychology: Intimacy, Commitment, and Passion. Also, in an ancient proverb love is defined as a high form of tolerance. And this view has been accepted and advocated by both philosophers and scholars. Love also includes compatibility. But it is more of journey to the unknown when the concept of compatibility comes into picture. Maybe the person whom we see in front of us, may be least compatible than the person who is miles away. We might talk to each other and portray that we love each other, but practically we do not end up into any relationship. Also in compatibility, the key is to think about the long term successful relationship, not a short journey. We need to understand each other and must always remember that no body is perfect.
Be together, share your joy and sorrow, understand each other, provide space to each other, but always be there for each others need. And surely love will blossom to strengthen your relationship with your matter of affection.
how to help the poor nad hungry
Step 1
Visit TheHungerSite.com to donate food to the hungry online at no cost to you. This site will donate a cup of food to the hungry whenever you click the "Click Here to Give" link on the front page. Send information about this site to your friends, family and colleagues to encourage them to click as well.
Step 2
Donate your old clothing to charities like the Salvation Army and clothing bins that are run by charities. Keep in mind that some of these bins are run by businesses who profit from the sale of the clothing.
Step 3
Go to a soup kitchen in your area to help serve food to the hungry and homeless. These are usually conducted by local churches, so visit the churches in your area to inquire about the days and times for soup kitchens. Ask how you can donate food and supplies to the organization as well.
Step 4
Donate food to local pantries and food banks. These organizations offer a free or extremely cheap grocery shopping experience to people in need.
Step 5
Sign up for a newsletter that will notify you of volunteer opportunities in your area. You can start by signing up for VolunteerMatch.com. Click the "Search" tab to look for events and opportunities in your town.
Step 6
Donate money to community and national organizations that specialize in helping poor people find jobs and establish their own businesses. Kiva.org and TrickleUp.org are two such organizations.
Step 7
Use your skills and knowledge to provide a service to the poor for free or at a steep discount. For example if you are a doctor, lawyer or entrepreneur you can dedicate a portion of your time to use your knowledge to treat or advise people who are in need.
Visit TheHungerSite.com to donate food to the hungry online at no cost to you. This site will donate a cup of food to the hungry whenever you click the "Click Here to Give" link on the front page. Send information about this site to your friends, family and colleagues to encourage them to click as well.
Step 2
Donate your old clothing to charities like the Salvation Army and clothing bins that are run by charities. Keep in mind that some of these bins are run by businesses who profit from the sale of the clothing.
Step 3
Go to a soup kitchen in your area to help serve food to the hungry and homeless. These are usually conducted by local churches, so visit the churches in your area to inquire about the days and times for soup kitchens. Ask how you can donate food and supplies to the organization as well.
Step 4
Donate food to local pantries and food banks. These organizations offer a free or extremely cheap grocery shopping experience to people in need.
Step 5
Sign up for a newsletter that will notify you of volunteer opportunities in your area. You can start by signing up for VolunteerMatch.com. Click the "Search" tab to look for events and opportunities in your town.
Step 6
Donate money to community and national organizations that specialize in helping poor people find jobs and establish their own businesses. Kiva.org and TrickleUp.org are two such organizations.
Step 7
Use your skills and knowledge to provide a service to the poor for free or at a steep discount. For example if you are a doctor, lawyer or entrepreneur you can dedicate a portion of your time to use your knowledge to treat or advise people who are in need.
motivation
Motivation
1. Consequences – Never use threats. They’ll turn people against you. But making people aware of the negative consequences of not getting results (for everyone involved) can have a big impact. This one is also big for self motivation. If you don’t get your act together, will you ever get what you want?
2. Pleasure – This is the old carrot on a stick technique. Providing pleasurable rewards creates eager and productive people.
3. Performance incentives – Appeal to people’s selfish nature. Give them the opportunity to earn more for themselves by earning more for you.
4. Detailed instructions – If you want a specific result, give specific instructions. People work better when they know exactly what’s expected.
5. Short and long term goals – Use both short and long term goals to guide the action process and create an overall philosophy.
6. Kindness – Get people on your side and they’ll want to help you. Piss them off and they’ll do everything they can to screw you over.
7. Deadlines – Many people are most productive right before a big deadline. They also have a hard time focusing until that deadline is looming overhead. Use this to your advantage by setting up a series of mini-deadlines building up to an end result.8. Team Spirit – Create an environment of camaraderie. People work more effectively when they feel like part of team — they don’t want to let others down.
10. Recognize achievement – Make a point to recognize achievements one-on-one and also in group settings. People like to see that their work isn’t being ignored.
11. Personal stake – Think about the personal stake of others. What do they need? By understanding this you’ll be able to keep people happy and productive.
12. Concentrate on outcomes – No one likes to work with someone standing over their shoulder. Focus on outcomes — make it clear what you want and cut people loose to get it done on their own.
13. Trust and Respect – Give people the trust and respect they deserve and they’ll respond to requests much more favorably.
14. Create challenges – People are happy when they’re progressing towards a goal. Give them the opportunity to face new and difficult problems and they’ll be more enthusiastic.
15. Let people be creative – Don’t expect everyone to do things your way. Allowing people to be creative creates a more optimistic environment and can lead to awesome new ideas.16. Constructive criticism – Often people don’t realize what they’re doing wrong. Let them know. Most people want to improve and will make an effort once they know how to do it.
17. Demand improvement – Don’t let people stagnate. Each time someone advances raise the bar a little higher (especially for yourself).
18. Make it fun – Work is most enjoyable when it doesn’t feel like work at all. Let people have fun and the positive environment will lead to better results.
19. Create opportunities – Give people the opportunity to advance. Let them know that hard work will pay off.20. Communication – Keep the communication channels open. By being aware of potential problems you can fix them before a serious dispute arises.
21. Make it stimulating – Mix it up. Don’t ask people to do the same boring tasks all the time. A stimulating environment creates enthusiasm and the opportunity for “big picture” thinking.
1. Consequences – Never use threats. They’ll turn people against you. But making people aware of the negative consequences of not getting results (for everyone involved) can have a big impact. This one is also big for self motivation. If you don’t get your act together, will you ever get what you want?
2. Pleasure – This is the old carrot on a stick technique. Providing pleasurable rewards creates eager and productive people.
3. Performance incentives – Appeal to people’s selfish nature. Give them the opportunity to earn more for themselves by earning more for you.
4. Detailed instructions – If you want a specific result, give specific instructions. People work better when they know exactly what’s expected.
5. Short and long term goals – Use both short and long term goals to guide the action process and create an overall philosophy.
6. Kindness – Get people on your side and they’ll want to help you. Piss them off and they’ll do everything they can to screw you over.
7. Deadlines – Many people are most productive right before a big deadline. They also have a hard time focusing until that deadline is looming overhead. Use this to your advantage by setting up a series of mini-deadlines building up to an end result.8. Team Spirit – Create an environment of camaraderie. People work more effectively when they feel like part of team — they don’t want to let others down.
10. Recognize achievement – Make a point to recognize achievements one-on-one and also in group settings. People like to see that their work isn’t being ignored.
11. Personal stake – Think about the personal stake of others. What do they need? By understanding this you’ll be able to keep people happy and productive.
12. Concentrate on outcomes – No one likes to work with someone standing over their shoulder. Focus on outcomes — make it clear what you want and cut people loose to get it done on their own.
13. Trust and Respect – Give people the trust and respect they deserve and they’ll respond to requests much more favorably.
14. Create challenges – People are happy when they’re progressing towards a goal. Give them the opportunity to face new and difficult problems and they’ll be more enthusiastic.
15. Let people be creative – Don’t expect everyone to do things your way. Allowing people to be creative creates a more optimistic environment and can lead to awesome new ideas.16. Constructive criticism – Often people don’t realize what they’re doing wrong. Let them know. Most people want to improve and will make an effort once they know how to do it.
17. Demand improvement – Don’t let people stagnate. Each time someone advances raise the bar a little higher (especially for yourself).
18. Make it fun – Work is most enjoyable when it doesn’t feel like work at all. Let people have fun and the positive environment will lead to better results.
19. Create opportunities – Give people the opportunity to advance. Let them know that hard work will pay off.20. Communication – Keep the communication channels open. By being aware of potential problems you can fix them before a serious dispute arises.
21. Make it stimulating – Mix it up. Don’t ask people to do the same boring tasks all the time. A stimulating environment creates enthusiasm and the opportunity for “big picture” thinking.
Friday, November 13, 2009
WHEN DEATH BECOMEs YOU
Dont let grief get complicated when you trouble accepting the death and are stuck in a perpetual state of morning.
Complicated grief is a condition when the pain of the loss is so constant and severe that it keeps you from resuming your day-to-day activeties.
Symptoms Of Complicated Grief:
Complicated grief is a condition when the pain of the loss is so constant and severe that it keeps you from resuming your day-to-day activeties.
Symptoms Of Complicated Grief:
- intense longing and yearning for the deceased
- intensive thoughts or images of your loved one
- denial of the death or sense of disbelief
- imagining that your loved one is alive
- searching for the person in familiar places
- avoiding things the remaind you of your loved one
- extreme anger or bitterness over the loss
- feeling that life is empty or meaningless
When should i Not Colour my Hair
- The rule of thumb is to wait for at least two weeks to
colour your hair after aa perm or a texturised treatment.
The same applies when you want to change your looks
after having just coloured your hair. your hair needs
to be given a break from chemicals during this period of time.
Beside, you will also have the opportunity to condition and deep-
treat your hair before another application.
colour your hair after aa perm or a texturised treatment.
The same applies when you want to change your looks
after having just coloured your hair. your hair needs
to be given a break from chemicals during this period of time.
Beside, you will also have the opportunity to condition and deep-
treat your hair before another application.
understanding breast cancer
Breast cancer is the most common form of cancer that effacts Malaysian women today.
Risk Factor :
* Inherited predisposition
* lifestyle
* older age
* Early menarche, late menopause
* Greater age at first full-term pregnancy and women who do not breast feed
* Long term usage of oral contraceptives or HRT
Symptoms :
* a lump or thickening in or near the breast or in the underarm area
* a change in the size or shape of the breast
* nipple discharge or tenderness or bleeding of the nipple
* the nipple is pulled back (inverted) into the breast
* dimpled skin on the breast , resembling the skin of an orange
* a change in the look or feel of the skin of the breast , areola or nipple such as warmth, swelling, redness or scaliness H&B
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